Last Heartbeat
by rairawrskazu
Summary: Risa died in an accident, Satoshi blames himself for it. Can he move on without her? Guilt attacks him since he was young, can he take more of it?


A disclaimer: I don't own this anime; it's only going to happen in my dreams, in our dreams… *sighs*

**Last Heartbeat**

**AUTHOR:**_**Rei Akira-Chan**_

I have always known that smiles don't last, but I let myself fall in the sweetness of her smiles. That is why I'm grieving; I'm missing its warm glow on my face because it was like sunshine. I'm ice that's been thawed by her radiance, but now that she's gone, I'm back to this world of everlasting ice age. And gah! I hate it when it rains! But at least now, it was useful, for my screams will drown in the noise of the millions of falling droplets. I, Satoshi Hiwatari, hereby swear not to feel love ever again, for its like knife that tore into my heart when it leaves.

We are preparing for our wedding day. But a car accident killed Risa, and I regret not protecting her in the incoming bus.

_Satoshi's FLASHBACK_

We sat in a café, talking and planning about our wedding.

"Come on, Satoshi! Let's pick my dress in that store, in the other side of the road." She was acting childish, as always.

"Why there? We can always go in another."

"I have dreamed of buying one in that store you see, since I was young; Riku too had this dream. So, can we please pick a dress there?" She said pouting her lips in the cutest way.

I sighed. It was just on the other side of the road, I thought, there's no harm in that idea. So we, I mean, I paid our bill and left. We came to that store she pointed out.

"Yes, that's it! That's the one that I have been wanting all this time!" She pointed at the dress. It had black laces embroidered mostly on the upper part of the dress, and is white in color. I just smiled in her enthusiasm.

Then there was a bus that had broken brakes, it let out a large honk while we were crossing the road. As it got nearer, Risa pushed me away but she had little time to get off so half of her body was hit. She bounced to the farther side of the road that I had to run to get there fast.

"RISA!" I yelled from afar. "It was supposed to be me! Not you!"

"I don't care. I did that because I knew this would happen anyway… At least you aren't dead…" She slowly closed her eyes. She was still breathing, but shallowly.

Men and women around were yelling: "Call an ambulance!" or "Call the police!"

When we moved along to the hospital via ambulance, she was still saying things like, "I'm happy." or "I love you." Or some stuff like that to me.

Half of her body was turning bluish-purple. The impact made the left side of her body numb and unmovable. It was painful, she says, but worth it because I didn't die.

"No one can prevent a person's death…"

"I did have a chance, but I didn't take it!" This time, a tear dropped from my cheeks.

"It wasn't your fault… I didn't want it either, but now I do, though the consequence of you not hit by the bus is my death. I'd do anything for you, just as you'd do anything for me…" Her right hand cupped my cheek.

"Don't say that, Risa… You won't leave this life yet!"

I touched her hand in my cheek and they were very cold and pale. She looked at me for the last time and said: "I love you, my Sato-Kun…"

I answered: "I love you too, my Risa…" More tears flowed down my cheeks.

She smiled, while her life ebbed away in front of me. The noise from the heart monitor was slowing down and eventually…

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…" That detested sound echoed inside the ambulance.

The nurse calmed down and tried everything to bring her heart beat again but to no avail… She's completely gone.

_End of Satoshi's FLASHBACK_

'Now that she's gone, what am I supposed to do now?' He asked himself. 'Wallow in sadness… Suicide? What else are my options?'

He made his secretary buy that dress Risa wanted to buy for their wedding for some reason.

'These are the only things that remind me of her now and her memories.'

Riku and Daisuke called many times to check on him.

'Suicide is surely stupid… So as wallowing in sadness… But my life is so centered to her: Risa Harada… She could've had been Mrs. Risa H. Hiwatari.'

He also remembered the death of his mother. It was also because of him.

'She protected me from Krad… She died because of me, also!'

Right now, he's guilt-ridden. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He is wishing so hard that he'll know the answer to his problem.

"If there is a god watching over me, can you please grant me only two wishes? I don't want to bring her back to life, for it is pointless… Nor be with her in the grave, for sure she doesn't want that…All I want now is for this guilt to go away…A certain someone to convince me that I must not be guilty of these events…I also want to know what to do after all that happened…After I lost my Sacred Maiden…"

"Risa, what must I do? It is not to forget you, but for me to know what to accomplish now that you're gone." He asked the wind, he was talking to it as if it was Risa.

What if the wind answered back? What will it answer back?

'Satoshi, be happy that you still have your life. So then treasure it just as you treasured mine…' A voice in the back of his head said and it left a chill. He also felt a light pat on the shoulder.

"Risa, was it you?" He smiled.

"I will love you, 'till my last heartbeat…"

_THE END…_

A/N: Left you hanging? Irritating? *laughs* I know right! But that's just plain, old me!

Though I left you hanging, did it make you heart skip? Did it make you cry? Did it entertain you? Was anyone OOC? Overall, did you like it? R&R, people, R&R… :) Thanks for reading!


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